I recently finished reading a beautiful book called Theo of Golden. It is the kind of story that stays with you long after you turn the final page, leaving behind quiet questions that gently disrupt the rhythm of your daily life. Most of all, it has left me thinking deeply about a choice we all make every single day: How do we choose to spend our time, and who do we choose to spend it with?
It is so easy to drift toward the “kings and princesses” of our world—the people who look like they have completely made it, the ones sitting comfortably at the top of the social ladder. It is inherently easier to look away from the orphans, the abandoned, and the seemingly hopeless. It is comfortable to fill our days exclusively with laughter, vacations, and the pursuit of a frictionless life.
But when we do that, what are we missing? Do we ever truly stop to see the profound beauty in others, or to appreciate the gruelling, sacred roads people have walked just to get to where they are today?
Love is a Choice, Not a Feeling
The truth is, we choose the sort of life we want to live. But what would our communities look like if we deliberately chose a different path?
What if we chose a life defined by active kindness, a genuine love for all people, a reverence for creation, and a deep love for God? This kind of love is so much more than a fleeting
emotion. As C.S. Lewis beautifully wrote:
“Love in this second sense—love as distinct from the ‘being in love’—is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit.”
To feel a natural affection for someone is a delight. But real care—the kind that builds bridges—is a habit of the will. Every single human being is intimately familiar with suffering, death, disappointment, and betrayal. Because we share this common human brokenness, we all have the capacity to connect through it.
Caring for another human being doesn’t require grand, expensive gestures. It starts with the simplest forms of human dignity:
● Paying attention.
● Listening with intent.
● Looking at faces and truly seeing them.
● Speaking words of honest affirmation.
These are choices that anyone, anywhere, can make. It takes remarkably little to build a bridge between two lives and to start a relationship. All it requires is a willingness to enjoy each other’s presence.
Moving Beyond the Familiar
The real challenge—and the real beauty—comes when we choose to spend time with the people whom society so often bypasses. The orphans, the single mothers, the aliens and foreigners in our country, or simply the people who look, think, and live very differently from us. It means leaning in toward those who hold entirely different opinions about religion or politics, rather than retreating into our safe echo chambers.
Within every single one of us lies the ability to practice kindness and generosity. We all bear the image of God—even when that image feels messy, frightened, or obscured by life’s hardships. It is precisely this ability to recognize the divine spark in another person that makes it possible to form true communities and lifelong friendships.
Filling Our Cities with Kindness
May we all have moments in our lives where we intentionally slow down to spend time with someone new. In doing so, may we truly see that person for who they are, and in the very same space, experience the vulnerability of being truly seen by them.
Let us commit to filling our streets, our neighborhoods, and our cities with quiet kindness and good works. Let us dedicate our energy to bringing a better tomorrow for someone who truly needs it—not for the kings of this world, but for the neighbors right in front of us.
How can you practice the habit of love today? Who is waiting to be seen in your corner of the world?
